They say food is good for the soul.

Kim Tilsen-Brave Heart believes it is much more than that. 

The nationally recognized indigenous chef says food can help heal a broken heart. It can be a conversation piece. It can bring people of all backgrounds and cultures together at one table. It can connect people during a pandemic that forced isolation. And most importantly, it can build a better community. 

Since starting her own catering business, Kim, who is part Lakota and part Jewish, has used her gifts of cooking and grace along with her love of her culture to create an understanding of the power of food. “I love making the connection that food is medicine,” said Kim from her quaint 7th street storefront. “I love watching people when they take a bite and their faces show that it tastes really, really good. It feels like healing. I think for them and me.” 

Kim creates beautiful and delicious indigenous meals in her small commercial kitchen in downtown Rapid City. From her butternut squash, pumpkin and coconut bisque to her famed, slow, roasted buffalo cooked in rendered duck fat and served over truffle macaroni and cheese, the local chef has created a national reputation for her amazing dishes and the message she serves up with them.

Front and center in her shop is a harvest table – a symbol of bringing people together. Kim designed the small space herself, focusing on giving guests a sense of sitting in her own personal dining room. “The idea of the harvest table was that I consider myself a bridge-builder in Rapid City. I wanted it to be where all different kinds of people would come to this table because I think that food and telling a history through food is a great connector. It gives us a way to be vulnerable and see each other as people rather than political differences. I love when you come in it feels like you are coming into my dining room. You are seeing me and seeing my heart on the plate.” 

It has been five years since Kim, and her now ex-husband, opened the catering company Etiquette, but the mother of three started cooking long before. Deciding at the age of 8 that she could no longer stomach her father’s idea of meals, Kim called her grandmother Rachel for help. “I was raised by a single dad with only brothers, and my dad was what I call a ‘throw-together survival cook’ which means he literally opened the cupboard and refrigerator and tried to pretend that it made sense,” she said. “We were surviving off of pizza and whatever mush he was creating.”

Her grandmother, however, saved the day, teaching a young Kim the basics of cooking. The first meal they cooked together was a standard roasted chicken. “She said let’s perfect it, and I started slowly learning about oils, spices, salt, pepper.” Kim continued to add to her recipe portfolio. 

By the time she was 10, Kim was cooking three family meals a week and by 11 had taken over grocery shopping and all meal planning. While Kim is still not a fan of her dad’s cooking, it has gotten better.  She enjoys a few of his recipes including a buffalo potato sweet pepper hash which she took and added her own culinary spin. “It’s his recipe but I have perfected it on my own.”

Growing up, Kim and her brothers split their time between Pine Ridge and the Twin Cities in Minnesota. Her dad is Jewish, and her mother is Lakota. Kim spent the school year in Minnesota and would come home to Pine Ridge for summers and traditional Lakota ceremonies. “My dad made a commitment that we would always know where we came from, our culture, languages, and identity. We would never have this disparaging feeling about where we came from. I was always celebrated for my culture.” 

Even in elementary school, Kim was sharing her culture and learning about other cultures through food. “I had friends from every single kind of race and background. Never did we have conflict over anything. It was celebrated.” Kim remembers everyone pulling out their lunchboxes and sharing in a family-style meal. “We were sharing and learning about people’s culture through food. It’s all these things that have bled into my food identity.” 

Kim now showcases both of her cultures in dishes taking traditional recipes and modernizing them.

“I just fell in love with cooking, and I wanted to be a chef from a young age, but my dad owned a couple of nightclubs that had restaurants and he didn’t want that for me. He felt like it was a very male-dominated, dirty, stressful, and uncelebratory industry.” 

Kim decided to change that perception. As a teen, she started creating delicious, pieces of art for large events from neighborhood gatherings to family reunions. She even organized her own parties with elaborate food displays. Her friends dubbed her the Native Martha Stewart, encouraging her to open her own food business – a dream that would materialize many years later and after a life-altering moment. 

Five years ago, her then-husband, Brandon, had a grand mal seizure. It happened shortly after their third child Pia was born. “Life as we knew it really stopped,” Kim said. The family of five needed a change. The couple had always cooked together, a favorite part of their day. “It was like a dance,” Kim said of the graceful way they prepared a meal. “We just knew each other so well. I suggested we start a catering company. It would be a way for us to have our small children and quality of life but still talk about our culture through food because that is what we were already doing.” 

The couple agreed and Etiquette Catering was founded. 

The idea was an instant success. They were catering big events, selling out lunch specials and hosting cooking shows and private events. “I think people were hungry for something different,” Kim said of their unique style and presentation. 

Their lives took another unexpected turn in March 2020. “Before COVID hit, I could see us expanding, maybe opening a real restaurant because there was so much interest. And then afterwards, we just needed to do something to survive.” 

After going through a range of emotion, Kim decided to modify her business plan and began creating charcuterie boxes to-go. “I was showcasing buffalo and elk with high-end artisan cheeses. It was giving people something to celebrate and gave me an opportunity to reconnect with my community.” She is still creating the personalized boxes and has thought of selling charcuterie cups during the upcoming Rapid City Summer Nights concert series. In February 2021, Kim hit another obstacle. Her husband and business partner decided he wanted a divorce. Her first thought was to close the catering business. “We built this business based on our love and our love story; our love for our children and ourselves. I couldn’t see what the future looked like from there."

But Kim did know she was blessed with certain gifts so instead of closing, she decided to rebrand. She is now Chef Brave Heart and does everything solo along with some help from her 15-year-old son Payton. “He’s great with customers.” While she passes on large events, sticking with 150 or less, she remains busy with cooking presentations and catering for universities and private foundations all over the country. She has cooked for the Waltons, founding family of Walmart, and was supposed to cater Melinda Gates’ holiday party in December but it was canceled because of COVID. 

Kim has had many offers to start restaurants and other ventures in larger cities like Los Angeles, however, the South Dakota native says she is not going anywhere. 

“This is still where I come from. I know we have our challenges here, but I also think we are so further along than we think we are. We can have the community we want, and I think indigenous people can be seen for who they are and not meant to be assumptions of people’s preconceived notions. 

I just want us to have the ability to see each other and celebrate each other’s cultures in a way that makes us build a better community.”

And she believes food will help do that. 

“So many people have their heads down in their phones these days – we’ve lost that connection,” Kim said. “That’s what I love about homemade food. It brings us back together. It is an experience. I think we need that right now. With everything happening in the world the more we can share our cultures and identities through food the more it builds connections and builds bridges.” 

She invites everyone to take a seat at the table and enjoy the power of a delicious meal shared together.